The experience of Dhumavati is itself the only remedy - one that has no counter, no end. In today’s world, most seekers gain spiritual or ritual knowledge through books or by listening to others. But the Goddess I speak of is profoundly divine, fiercely protective and her experience is as terrifying as it is transcendent, both simple and complex at once. It was only when, through the flow of time, I came very close to Her—when I truly knew, understood, and beheld Her—that my life felt blessed.
Around 10 years ago, I met a group of ascetics in South-East India. It was a gathering of many sadhus, and I always enjoyed sitting with them, talking, absorbing their presence. One day, in the midst of a casual discussion, I expressed a thought on a certain topic. It was small, nothing significant—but one sadhu and his disciples became upset with me. The matter wasn’t big, so I simply moved on. If someone doesn’t wish to accept new awareness, let them be. I took my leave. Later, at some point, the Divine Mother spoke within: “My child, that Baba will not let this go. His ego has been hurt, and he will surely respond.” After saying this, the Great Mother laughed and the matter seemed to dissolve there.
I shared this incident with a new practitioner friend of mine, a very enthusiastic seeker, devoted to Baba Hanuman. He said, “Brother, I won’t let anything happen to you. Give me a mantra too, I will stand with you.” But within weeks of chanting, something changed. One day, he visited an ashram where a saint told him: “You are just a child. Don’t get involved in things you don’t understand. The enemy you are engaging with—without knowing—will certainly bring unavoidable danger.” That shook him. He called me and said, “Brother, forgive me… I won’t go forward in this matter.” There was nothing amusing about it. I had warned him from the beginning—but he thought it was all mental imagination, a game of concepts. In this realm, beyond human limits, no one stands with you except the Divine.
Months passed—about six in total. I was busy traveling, moving from one end of India to another. One day, I boarded a train around noon. At 9 PM that night, suddenly, a violent fever struck me. I took medicine but nothing worked. The whole night I spent chanting my mantra. By morning, I got off the train - burning, unable to taste food or water. By evening, after another journey, I reached home. Nearly 22 hours had passed in that fever. The doctor checked me—107–108°F fever. He assumed it was something I ate during travel. Gave medicines, asked me to return after 3 days. At home, my grandmother placed cold cloths on my forehead.
I drifted in and out of consciousness—unable to tell sleep from waking. And in that state… I saw something. A vision—not of this world, but of the subtle realm. I saw Maa Dhumavati. She stood fully manifested—alone. With every passing moment, Her form became more and more fierce, more intense. Before Her stood certain powers, beings, even deities—and strange, otherworldly entities gathered behind them. They said: “We will take this boy. We are bound by our vow. Never has it happened that once our force is invoked, the strike remains incomplete.” They pleaded again and again. No one fought Her. No war broke out. But the tension… it was absolute. Behind them, thousands of silent witnesses gathered. And She—alone—stood unmoved. Not retreating.
Only becoming more and more ugra (fierce). Then, from whirlwinds of smoke, beings began to descend— Vetalas, bound to Her power—standing beside Her, arms locked. The moment came—it felt like something decisive would now happen. Yet those forces still did not withdraw. Then Maa Dhumavati finally roared: “No one can take this child without crossing me. All pleading ends here. If anyone does not leave now—I will consume them myself. I care nothing for your traditions, your vows, or your bindings.” With that roar… It felt as if the entire fabric of the subtle universe trembled. And the vision vanished.
When I woke up, I went to the doctor again—only to realize three days had passed, though I thought it was just one. The fever eventually subsided. But the body… took 1 to 1.5 years to fully recover.
Even today, when I remember that vision— I cannot forget Her form. I am not a great seeker. Not a realized master. I am simply someone who cannot live a day without chanting Her mantra. There are parts of this experience I have deliberately kept hidden— Because they are beyond thought, beyond interpretation, beyond even the way you may perceive the Goddess.
Maa… may I never be separated from You.
Whenever I used to chant her mantra for next 1-1.5 years, everytime my feet would go red with pain like something is piercing red hot into my soles. Many aspirants leave this path since they do not understand the time dilution in-between the worlds, what happens there for seconds goes on for days somewhere else. I never left chanting and would always resume. Mother sees the effort, and she never leaves you deserted ever.
Greetings! Love and Light from Aastha Musings~